U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
