Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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