Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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