Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
