Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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