the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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