You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
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I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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