problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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