i just had sex bonerless
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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