Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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