I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
