clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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