totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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