and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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