You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
