hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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