Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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