Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
