I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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