You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
