apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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