WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
