hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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