i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
