you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
