So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize