Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
