this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My balls are so social today.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
