called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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