hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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