Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize