If i come over, it means nothing
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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