It's Friday. Sex?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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