U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
