I look better un-naked...
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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