I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
