I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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