butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i wish my penis had a tongue
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
