This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
