plz talk dirty to me
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
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