why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
