I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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