Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
So much rum. So many feels.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
