The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
