What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
