I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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