I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
