kristin has been a bad kristin
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I just blew my weed a kiss
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
