my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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