Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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