And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I think a kid would responsible me up
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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