we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
