Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
