I accidentally had phone sex last night
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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