Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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