So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
