So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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