Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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